In 2000 I voted for Nader. It wasn't a particularly brave thing to do. I lived in California where Gore was going to win no matter what I did. Gore won the popular vote but not the electoral college because of ... Florida. That was the year the supreme court gave the presidency to Bush. People blamed Nader. Still do.
I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure the 1972 election was my first vote. I think a lot of people in my gen were devastated by the Nixon victory.
I was happy when I voted for Jimmy Carter. Happier when he won. And then there was Reagan. Right about then I stopped voting. I just stopped believing in the process or thinking that anything inside the beltway mattered in my life.
I went to an experimental high school in Maryland. It was a time of political awakening. I remember debates about whether the system could be saved or should be destroyed. Renny Davis debated our principal. I believed in Woodstock nation, Flower Power and the revolution.
I don't remember exactly when or where I was when I re-registered Democrat. It was because I wanted to vote in a primary but I don't remember why.
I was extremely happy voting for Clinton. I thought my generation had come to power and we were going to change everything. What a disappointment. Clinton moved the party to the right. Away from me. Gore wasn't engaging. Nader was thrilling.
I was never a fan of Hillary and had no trouble choosing Obama in that election. I remember voting early in the morning with a friend. Then she drove me to work, both of us giddy and also terrified.
He won.
He won.
And then he won again.
The next time Hillary ran I had no trouble voting for her. She was more qualified for the job than anybody, ever. I felt like she might have softened during the Obama years. I hoped she had.
I saw Sanders interviewed by Chris Mathews at some point during that election. I'm not a fan of Mathews but he is a political historian and has worked inside the Beltway. He asked how Sanders was going to get the votes for what he wanted to do. Bernie chortled and said Mathews just didn't understand what he was trying to do. Maybe not but he did understand how the system worked. He understood you needed to be able to get the votes.
The debates of my high school days are still in my mind. There is so much about our system that needs to change. And I'm still not sure how that can happen. It doesn't feel like it's going to happen quickly or without ... the votes.
Hillary won the popular vote. By a wide margin.
When are we going to get rid of the electoral college?
From the beginning of this primary I have been all in for Elizabeth Warren. She is progressive and she knows how to get the votes and get things done.
It is true that part of my Clinton vote and my desire for Warren is about me wanting there to be a woman president. I've been thinking about Margret Chase Smith. She was a Republican. I don't think she would have been today. I've been thinking about Shirley Chisholm and Geraldine Ferraro and even Sarah Palin. I wouldn't vote for a woman just because she was a woman.
Since Warren stepped out of the primary I've been torn up. It's not as simple as my candidate didn't win. It feels like something went terribly wrong. Sexism is part of it. Sexism is always part of it. But it was also about fear. In poll on electability last summer people were asked who they would vote for and they said Biden. Then there were asked if they could wave a magic wand and pick the president and they ALL said Warren. It's about fear.
And it's about money. Every time I saw a state where Bloomberg got more delegates than she did I blanched. He didn't even really campaign. He just spent a lot of money on commercials. And they were convincing. If you didn't know anything about him.
Sanders supporters who have never been kind to Warren are all in a huff because she hasn't endorsed. I find that stunning. Her endorsement means nothing to me. I don't want to vote for either one of the last two old white men. I don't think her endorsement would have made a difference to most people.
It's about fear.
It's about money.
It's about fear.
Bernie Sanders articulates the ideas that I love. I just don't believe he can get much done. I also think the noise about Socialism during the election would have been miserable. Unfair. But loud. Listening to the ladies in the pool discuss socialism makes me wince. At least one of them was going to vote for Warren but will not vote for Sanders. She's not thrilled with Biden either.
Biden makes me sad and tired. I'm hoping he'll realize that Sanders has twice built a massive coalition. Biden needs to welcome his ideas and incorporate them. I'm not hopeful.
It seems like Biden is the nominee but there is a small chance Sanders could win. Who ever wins should have a woman as a vice president. Which would not really make me happy and I do NOT want it to be Warren. It feels sour to me that another old white guy is behind the big desk. I don't really want a woman doing all the work behind him.
Politics is an argument. Many (maybe most) arguments have no resolution that feels good. A supervisor in SF once said that he felt happy after an agreement when no one was completely happy. Everyone got something but no one got it all.
When Oregon FINALLY primaries if Warren is on the ballot I will vote for her. If she's not on the ballot I will write her in. In the general I will vote for ... whoever wins. It will be a joyless vote but Trump needs to go away.