Rolly Chair

 I saw a video. One of those (cough) funny videos. A baby, somewhere between one and two, was in their little rolly seat. There probably is a proper name for those. He had on tiny running shoes, and he was running. I mean RUNNING down the street.  

I need one of those. 

The problem with a walker is that it's in front of you, with wheels, that keep moving. It's really hard going downhill. On a scooter, or in a chair your feet aren't on the ground. But one of those rolly chairs would be perfect. The seat would be right under you. The wheels would be all around you. You'd have a little tray. Perfect. 

Downhill might still be rough. 

Shrug

 I saw a political ad, which ended up being for Liz Cheney. It was typical. I was only half listening and then it was for Liz Cheney. And I was cool with it. 

Never in my life would I have thought I would be cool with an ad for Liz Cheney. I wouldn't vote for her. I wouldn't vote for her for dog catcher. But my feeling about her has changed. She's not even a centrist. She is a full-on Republican. But she's on the January Sixth Commision. And she's been saying some strong and righteous things. 

So. I just nodded at the end of the commercial. In the past I would have said something nasty. 

Shrug. 

Pride

 First day of Pride. 

I'm hoping this year will be loud. 

The idea that a governor of a state can write a bill that controls speech is ... well ... I don't really have a word for what it is. 

I am particularly concerned about trans youth. 

Maybe this can be a month of push back. 

My depression combined with some chaos on TikTok combined with the news has me treading. Unable to completely function. 

There's a guy on TikTok who is a writer. He mentioned that he's averaging a thousand words a day. I'm averaging five or six sentences. 

Sigh. 

June

 It's (almost) June. I always get depressed in June. It's nothing to worry about. It happens every year. I used to fight it. It just made it worse. Now I just go for the fall. Because I know it will end. It started a little early because of all the ... things. 

It's actually a bad habit. I understand the mechanics. Understanding only means I have a sort of lifeline when the wave hits.  

I'm almost always a little depressed. I feel like if you aren't you aren't paying attention. But this is less background noise and more like hitting a wall a few times a day. Really hard. If I can stay calm, I shake it off. 

Tuning Out

 The mommie loved the pomp and circumstance on days like this. She believed in the country. I turned away from all of it at a pretty young age.

We're a country built on top of an already existing civilization. 

For so long I thought about colonization as something done by kings and queens. And families like mine were just looking for a better life. There is some truth to all that but there is a larger truth. And I don't know how to ignore it. 

It's a good day to ignore news channels, which are in a repetitive drone. As always.   

But I have a book. As always.