Oak Street Halloween

I think I've written about this before. 

The first year I was in the nest the mommie came for a visit. She had given up traveling but she really wanted to see the nest and Hood River. She got on a plane and came out. She loved looking out the windows at the Oak Street goings on. Her only complaint was that it was hard to watch TV because Oak Street was more interesting. 

On Halloween I was about to put dinner on the table when I noticed people in the middle of the street, including children. She noticed too. I opened the door and looked up the street. It had been blocked off and families were beginning to wander about, many with costumes. In front of the shops people were sitting with bowls of candy. The ice cream shop up the street was giving away free ice cream before they closed for the year. Dinner was going to wait. The mommie was captivated. Since then it's been one of my favorite times of year. Hood River feels like a small town. 

This year it won't happen. I am overwhelmed with sadness. Which seems a little extreme. I think it's carrying the weight of all the larger sadness. The rise in COVID cases and deaths. The exhaustion of the health care workers. The stress of the election. 

It feels dysphoric to say but COVID gave me a gift. I am so glad the mommie isn't here for it. I don't know how I would have taken care of her. The news coming out of care facilities is terrifying. There is a place near by in which there were a few deaths. There had been a fall in the care giving because they couldn't get workers. Those stories hit me hard. Yesterday in the NY Times there was an article about senior facilities and the problems with care. Because of all of that it's the first time I've been able to relax into the fact of her being gone. 

Usually I start getting a little sad in November. I see the cover of a magazine with pictures of turkey dinners. I remember Thanksgiving dinners that I loved cooking. The pain in my knees makes it hard to get cereal and milk in a bowl. I won't be cooking any big dinners. The date of her death is just before Thanksgiving. I get sadder and sadder through the month. The day after Thanksgiving I'm ready to put up Christmas decoration. I'm still a little sad but Thanksgiving just feels like loss now. Once it's over I'm ready to have a holiday. 

I'm usually so caught up in Oak Street Halloween that I don't feel the sadness. This year I guess it's going to start a little early. 

I don't have the ... uh ... I dunno ... what ever it takes to buck up today. I'm trying (not entirely successfully) to stay away from the news and doom scrolling. Read my book. Take it one breath at a time. 

Systems

I've been thinking about Plessy v Ferguson. Random? Not really. That supreme court (1896) upheld the idea that racial segregation was constitutional. It has never been overruled. It sits in the shadows like some rancid, not quite dead snake, that keeps reeling its head. Brown v Board (1954) sort of over ruled it by stating that separate but equal was unconstitutional (equal protections clause of the fourteenth amendment), at least in educational institutions. 

Eisenhauer signed the Civil Rights Act (1957) and LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964. 

And. 

On Monday afternoon police shot and killed Walter Wallace Jr.  He was ten feet away from them, holding a knife. He was shot multiple times.  

Black Lives Matter has been around for six years. In the streets. That is where my hope for change is. 

We're all worried about the Supreme court and we should be.  I am. Specifically because of Roe v Wade but on Monday the court ruled that Wisconsin can't count ballots if they arrive after election day. Justice Kagan wrote a dissent in which she said that nothing could be more supercilious or improper than refusing to count ballots because they arrive after midnight. It was a shot at Kavanaugh. Justice Ginsburg may be gone but the struggle continues. 

I've been thinking about the Jane Collective. From 1969 to 1973 they worked to help women find doctors who needed an abortion. They even learned how to do simple abortions. If the court overturns Roe, or just upholds laws that make legal safe abortion hard to get there will be a battle. 

I don't really know what the future will look like. I'm not sure what the battles will look like. I just know that through out history the courts and the congress and all the rule makers have done some terrible things. And people continued to fight. I think Justice Ginsburg was know to respond to defeat by getting back to work. 

I've been really nervous right before I go to sleep lately. I have mini panic attacks.  I feel like something is wrong.  And then I remember. Something is wrong. Lots of somethings are wrong. 

A group called Joy to the Polls have been working with various artists to get music to poll locations where people are waiting hours in line to vote. People dance in line. There have been drummers. And marching bands. The wonderful Chef Jose Andres has been providing food for people in line. People helping and bringing joy. 

This is what I hope it looks like.