I keep thinking I'm better and then ... I'm not. I guess maybe I am a little better, but I get taken down by waves of badness. I spend an inordinate amount of time lying about with my eyes closed. Not sleeping, although I do a fair amount of that too. I just need to be quiet.
Last year, around Memorial Day, I realized that I didn't remember where my Grandparents were buried. I remember going to gravesites with my grandmother on Memorial Day. I think that used to be more of a thing.
I went on Google and found them. I discovered that Poppop has a stone, but Grandmom does not. I can't imagine why. I reached out to the manager of the graveyard in email to see if he knew a florist in the area who would take flowers to the graves. I received a terse reply offering really pricy maintenance but no way to just place flowers. I struggled with this for a while.
It's ironic because I don't intend to be buried. There's a thing you can do now. They make compost out of your body. It's one of the best things to do with your body after you die in terms of the ecology. That's what I want to do.
But I'm still upset about my grandmother not having a stone.
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