Little Story #21

When I was in India Baba shaved my head. Many people had their head shaved but not many had it done by Baba. Just before I went to India I'd had a perm. I have a lot of hair. It took three hairdressers and hours to get my hair permed. They weren't happy when I came home with it shaved off. Baba asked if there was something in my hair and I told him. He said - don't do that again. HA!

The head shaving thing was about commitment and devotion. I had a scarf that I bought there, which I wore to protect my scalp from the sun. When I came home I wore it to avoid talking about having a bald head. People thought I was making  a fashion statement. 

I wish I had a picture. 

I  was sort of homeless when I came home. I did a lot of couch surfing. I ate breakfast at the Diner. I wandered from cafe to cafe. I babysat and read Tarot cards for what money I did have. I wore a long draw string skirt, a baggy dolman sleeve blouse, Birkenstocks and that scarf. I was a mass of material moving through the world. 

I really wish I had a picture.

I also followed different bands and musicians around from club to club. Mark Hallman had a band at the time. My friend Poonah played in that band. I haven't seen Poonah in a long time. He wants to be called Rob now. And I understand that but then he was Poonah and it was a name that held his personality. He must have told Mark how much I wanted to be in a band because one night Mark called me up on stage. Me with my bald head and layers of material.
He called a few people. We sang on the chorus of a I'm Looking For a Miracle. So ... we sang I'm looking for a miracle three times. It wasn't much but for me it was HUGE! I remember Poonah hugging me after the song. I was shaking from head to toe.
One morning Jimmy Tuttle came into the Diner. He'd been making a poster and saw a font called Fat Shadow. He thought Mark should call the rhythm section FatShadow because a fat rhythm section is a good thing. I begged for the name and I've been using it ever since.
For me it's about my actual shadow, which is fat. And the use of the word in Jungian psychology to describe the unconscious. There are a lot of ways to think about that. Some call it the dark side but it's also where so much of our story lives. I feel like we can sink into it and find a source of empathy, insight, creativity and fun. So I like to think that my shadow is fat.