Wednesday, April 17, 2013


I started to write this post awhile ago.
When I was in NC Mom and I watched The Iron Lady. I felt like it painted a relatively full portrait of Thatcher. I grimaced remembering the Thatcher/Reagan years but I had enough distance to see why she thought what she was doing would be good. I basically ignored as much of the news during those years as I could because it was all so crushing. There's been a lot of discussion about her lately. I keep starting to write my on the one hand on the other hand view of her but it feels hollow.
George Orwell wrote that cliche's of the day were a product of contemporary politics. I pay a lot of attention to how I say things. Sometimes I worry that I am too much of a relativist and not clear or definitive. But I do have strong feelings. When I'm with people who I know agree with me I am probably more direct. When I am talking to someone who I know has an opposite opinion I am generally more reserved. When I'm writing a blog post that will be read by two or three friends I am a combination of both because some of my friends don't see things the way I do. I'm not beyond cliches. I aspire to be.  
I was reminded of a conversation I had in a Facebook thread. Conversations in comment boxes are always a bit frustrating. I'm not sure how it started. A friend from EA posted something. This is a person who I never really worked directly with but knew because they were friends with people on my team and had a great reputation. When I left they called to tell me about a possible job. They are a person who truly cares about others and backs that up with action. At some point in the tread that was about something I can't remember, they said something about personal responsibility and choice. It felt so hard and cold. I left the thread. I wanted to write about it then but I was in NC with nothing but my smart phone and arthritic fingers. Now I'm trying to include the memory in a post when I don't even remember details.
I do remember the essential feeling I had.
Choice is always made in context. Entire plot lines are drawn from someone making a choice without all the information they need to make it a good choice. The story is about what happens after the choice and how it all works out. Or doesn't. Life feels more complicated than most narratives. It's so rare that a choice is good or bad. We make a choice and moments later we change our mind our modify our trajectory. Even the most informed choices still leave us feeling our way along.It's too easy to end with the idea of someone making a choice.
Conservative politics often feel hard and cold to me. But I know conservatives. They aren't always hard and cold.
I'm in a pretty good mood these days generally speaking. But the news from Boston hurts the heart. The news out of the senate today hurts the head. When I blogged regularly I felt like I needed to comment on every daily event. But it feels hollow. It feels cliche.
We live in such hopped up times. Less than four hours after the bomb went off in Boston there was already music and a fancy header for every news report. With no solid information news hosts struggle to fill time. Writing that even feels hollow.
Seriously. Is registering when you buy a gun such a big deal? Do we really need all guns to be available to everyone all the time? Seriously? Just because a piece of legislation won't make everything all better should we do nothing? And conflating the event in Boston with gun legislation is just sloppy thinking. That's how I feel. That's what I think.
The Iron Lady's you made your own choices now live with the result social policy was cold and hard. And it didn't work. I mean for the love of everything can we just be a little more nuanced? A little less snarky and snippy and chest thumpy and what ever.
Of course.
I like snarky and snippy some times.
I'm in a pretty good mood lately. Some really truly good things are happening. And I have the news on less often. I listen to music more often. Almost every day. I still like to be informed. I still have a response. I still have a desire to be in the mix. I am still brought to tears daily. The micro and the macro are zones I expand and contract into and out of every day. I think we all pretty much do.
Is started to write this post awhile ago.
And I wanted to finish it.