I started a conversation about agism on TikTok. I'm on old lady TikTok. Which is to say that most of the people who hang out with me are older women. I have a few men and surprisingly a few of them are quite young. Very sincere. But mostly older women. Response to the conversation was moving. Women tend to equate aging with erasure. I understand but I've been on my own and living (more or less) in isolation so I both feel erased from the world and don't notice a difference.
I am aware of the ways in which I weaponize my own internalized ageism. I say "I'm old" a lot. Usually as a way of explaining some failure of ability. But also, when I'm feeling irreparably damaged.
The conversation is still going on but I'm tired. Constantly explaining, clarifying. It's been mostly good. I'm also at a loss for a way to continue it. Of the isms it doesn't feel like it gets attention. Last month was disability pride month. I learned a lot. There is an intersection of disability and ageism, obviously.
This is what I do for fun.