I looked at a book the other day and felt like I wanted to read it. That might not seem unusual but the last two months have been a bit of a siege. Mom had a health crisis made more complicated by some bad faith actions by the management of the place she had been living. I have never been so drained of ...everything. Energy, will, desire. All I do every day is focus on her.
It's not over. But she is in a place where she is getting pretty good care. I am there every day but I have also gotten to the pool a few times. I've had some time to myself. I've spent evenings, sprawled, binge watching Call the Midwife and A Chefs Life. And then I looked a the book. There's also a stack of magazines. And...there's also a bunch of things I still need to work through related to the bad faith actions and general management of her/our lives.
I gotta say. I knew Mom moving to Hood River might make demands on my life but there was no way I could have imagined all of this.
I feel damaged.
I am feeling.
And I have already read half of that book.