Mornings

April linked this on Facebook.
In the morning we awaken loaded down with the weight of entropy and sleep. Our natural response is to turn over and go back to sleep and put off the crisis of stepping out into the world. Perhaps the promise of something better gets us up onto our feet. Most acts of engagement require an effort of will, desire and an emotionally charged image of how things might be different.
It's interesting because I've been thinking a lot about my mornings. I've always needed time to be slow in the morning. If I need to be somewhere early I wake up earlier to allow for slow time. I stumble to the computer, check email, play something mindless like Spider Solitaire while I eat. Even when I swim I wake up early enough to have a little zone time.
When I was working on the MFA and for a few years after that I got into a habit of listening to KPFA or KQED while I read blogs and wrote my post. I listen to the radio now but I don't blog very often. I half read some newspapers. Play a game.
I keep thinking I should try to do some yoga first thing. I am in the pool three days by 6 AM and by 8:15 on Saturday. Then I come home and zone.
Most acts of engagement require an effort of will, desire and an emotionally charged image of how things might be different.
I think there is something to just imagining how it might look if it were different. I don't begrudge myself some zone time but I wish it were shorter. I realize that I am the one who needs to make it shorter.
Writing often begins as a revelry. I walk around with a repetitive narrative and eventually I sit down and type. I have something in my head these days.
...will, desire and an emotionally charged image of how things might be different.