Friday, July 09, 2010

Letting Go

I've been going through my blog roll again trying to knock it down to something I can actually get through. I am failing. As fast as I delete I add. I'm trying to use some kind of common sense. If I'm not reading someone and they aren't reading me then ... but I'm too attached.
I finally canceled my WoW account. I've haven't played in more than a year. The last few times I tried to play I ended up downloading patches and lost interest. Given all that you might wonder why I hadn't done it sooner. The minute I did it I felt sad. It's easy enough to rejoin. Sigh.
I'm not exactly a pack rat but I do have a lot of stuff that I should just toss. Little plastic animals from martinis, rocks and shells, piles of magazines.
The blog roll trip brought back memories. I've always liked big brain blogs many of which I don't even understand. I love art and photo blogs. And I love journals. I've stopped believing in a blogging community. I think they exist and are useful but I've never quite fit in.
I love the random stuff you can find. This is who I want to be when I grow up.
There is a lot of chatter about what the Internet is doing to our brains. I've heard this guy on a few shows. I have the radio on listening to the news from last night, which makes me angry and sad while I'm smiling over a photo of a baby. And I jump to Facebook every so often. Short attention span, multi tasking suits the Gemini brain. It's why I was a good line cook. I can manage more than one pan at a time. However, in the moment that I'm seething and smiling I do wonder if it's all too much.
Lately I've had days when I need to sit with my eyes closed. No sounds except for the neighborhood rumbles and bangs. It's a raggedy kind of meditation.


Jenni said...

i got something in the mail today about a conference in october in sf at union square. it's too expensive, probably can't go, but the first thing i thought was, if i go, i am totally going to have dinner with tish.

Tish said...

if you go you should stay with me!!! i'd love to cook for you!!!